Apply to join Cathy's Exceptional Private Clients and Join The Inspirational families who have disrupted generational cycles in a matter of hours, and let that be the foundation of your legacy.
Exclusive Private Container for your family with Cathy...
I cordially invite you to NOTHING, and EVERYTHING...
Introduce me to who your child is.
I believe that your child was born perfect, whole, and unique.
They came forth into this world bearing gifts distinctive in a combination designed to make them stand out from the rest.
Often, through an attempt to assimilate due to societal pressure to fit in with their peers, they push their uniqueness aside in an attempt to belong. The attributes that they have pushed aside and become disconnected from are the very reasons that they were supposed to stand out and lead.
My revolution is to empower the next generation of leaders with an acute awareness of self and to master the intricacies of their relationship with the outside world.
By taking 100% responsibility for their experience and embodying their exclusive power, they will position themselves for an outstanding transition into adulthood and will lead others to do the same.
Their authenticity of the highest order is demanded and achieved in this space of expanded consciousness. This holds the key to freedom and the powerful way forward.
As I decode their genius, something magical happens.
They are introduced to a potent self-assuredness in their position in the world, and how they connect to others that in turn unleashes an assertiveness, and ability to yield radical empathy to enhance their influence and fill them with unshakable confidence that inspires all.
I will hold your child to the highest standard of self.
I see who your child is, and it is my Divine mission to reveal this to them and to empower them to embody leadership to inspire others.
I will connect them to their genius and show them how to ignite their passion and how to successfully navigate the world to the greatest success.
Share with me the vision you hold for your child.
Every experience that we have has a blessing and a lesson, I will show your child how to use every experience as their rocket-fuel to propel them forward to greatness.
We will deep-dive into the complexity of their interactions and reveal how to transmute radical empathy into exquisite connection and communication. I will hold space whilst your child discovers how to truly love and appreciate themselves. I see them, deep down, through the manufactured layers of protection, down to their soul’s core.
I will reveal and reconnect them to their divinity.
I will stand with them in the rawness of absolute vulnerability and I will hold them to the highest standard of self.
I will reveal their pain as their greatest blessing.
I will sit with them in the most fragile integrity and will gift-them an exquisite ascension into radical empathy and extreme love-communication.
I will transmute my wisdom, intuition, and divine knowledge into revealing their most powerful authenticity.
I will remove the veil from their soul’s longing, and ignite the sparks within them that they have been searching for.
When they remember how to love themselves, I will guide them to restore, revive, and rejuvenate all their love connections with others.
I will disrupt their world and pave the way for a more connected, meaningful, and heartfelt life-experience centered on the purity and ultimate power of love.
Allow me to reveal to you my expert insights.
From that place of divine connection, I will then empower them to elevate all their relationships to a higher level of authenticity, rawness, deep connection, and knowingness.
Every intricate piece of their journey has led you perfectly to this moment where our paths have crossed in total alignment and my soul ignites at the promise of the magic that will unfold between us. Our journey together will materialize as it will be completely organic and bespoke to your child and their needs.
As we begin our time together, my intuition brings forth the wisdom, philosophies, tools, and wealth of experience that are required to get them to where they want to be.
This journey is organic and specifically tailored to the intricacies of your child’s wishes, desires, and needs.
This time will ascend your child to the next level of transformation for them and for everyone in their world.
Your child will be forever changed by this profound ascension and they will move forward grounded in peace, joy, and fulfillment. The emergence into the rapid evolution of mind, spirit, and soul is where we can map out the ways forward in integrity, honesty, and success.
Client Testimonials
World Record LaureateStacey Sargison
Legend and EntrepreneurKristi Atkinson
Author and Powerhouse Susan Bibby
Author and Changemaker Suzanne Thompson
Testimonial Reel
Who is Cathy Domoney?
The Bio Bit...!
Known as 'The Legacy Architect’ Cathy launched the visionary movement responsible for connecting teens to their inner brilliance whilst powerfully positioning them as the fully connected future leaders that humanity is demanding.
Quickly recognized for her transformational work with young people, Cathy became connected to, and recognized as one of, the foremost change-makers and thought-leaders on the planet.
With the fundamental belief that our young people must be held to the highest standards of impeccability for them to personify their unique genius fully and dynamically, Cathy exudes the pinnacle of integrity and honor which she imbues in her young clients in abundance.
Outstandingly adept at rapidly amplifying the unique genius of her teen clients, and consistently empowering her young clients to embody their inherent greatness results in them forging even stronger, deeper relationships with themselves and with their families which is a beautiful privilege for Cathy to bear witness to.
With her exclusive private consultancy, Cathy continues to create extraordinary outcomes for her client-families. Cathy is coaching a generation of consciously connected leaders who will lead humanity to the next level of sustainable evolution. This will be her legacy.
In Cathy's own words...
This was such a blessing to me. It led me to go inward from a young age, which in turn helped me to develop an extraordinarily strong intuition.
As I grew into early adulthood, I began searching for answers, for alternative philosophies and modalities that would help to quench the thirst I had developed for insights into human behavior. I began submersing myself into psychology, sociology, counselling, life-coaching, hypnotherapy and teaching to gather the information I was seeking.
The huge turning point came when I began to have my own children. That powerful viewpoint gave me a unique and enhanced perspective which, in conjunction with my professional training and experience, enabled me to provide an experience to the children I was working with, and their families, that was magical.
I was able to begin translating this knowledge into ‘The Positive Mindset for Kids’ empowering children’s book series, and the ‘Legacy Architect’ exclusive, private consultancy container. Soon after, I was recognized as a Transformational Leader and was invited to be a founding and Steering member of the Association of Transformational Leaders (ATL) Australia. This is a huge honor for me, and I am incredibly blessed to belong to some of the most extraordinary humans on the planet who consistently hold me to the highest standards of excellence, and expanded consciousness.
In addition to this I have been privileged with five of my own children, three of whom have the extraordinary gift of autism. This has allowed me the opportunity to further strengthen my intuition to an even deeper level.
These experiences have led me to develop my own modality of Radical Empathy, which serves as the lens through which I empower the children I work with to navigate through the perceived positive and negative social intricacies of social interactions with tremendous success.
Through connecting the young people (and their amazing families) that I partner with to their inner brilliance, power, wisdom, intuition, and genius, they are able to unleash their magnificent gifts on to the world and position themselves as the future leaders that the world is demanding.
Every single struggle and pain point can absolutely be transmuted into power and confidence with the right guidance and support. That is my zone of genius, and I love it!
I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Cathy Domoney is the most cherished and well respected world leader in the
Family Empowerment space.
"I work privately with the most successful mavericks of business and high net worth 6+ figure families. I amplify their unique parenting style to elevate and unleash the inner genius of their children.
I empower these extraordinary people to raise the most exquisite humans and position them as the future leaders that humanity is demanding."
Testimonials.
"My good friend, Cathy Domoney, is the author of some beautiful books, and tackle some complex situations such as bullying, self-worth, and self-image and the many issues that children are going through these days. This is not just challenging for the children, but also for the parents. Cathy is most qualified to deal with these issues, with over eighteen years’ experience helping young people to improve their mindset… so that they can navigate through life in a very empowered way, and she has done an outstanding job. I cannot recommend them enough, thanks Cathy Domoney, you’ve done an amazing job!”
Natalie Ledwell.
Mind Movies | Bestselling Author.
Natalie Ledwell.
Mind Movies | Bestselling Author.
"Cathy is the closest thing to a real life Mary Poppins you’ll ever meet. She has the exact combination of warm understanding, coupled with out-of-the-box thinking, that leads to instant confidences. After you meet her you’ll understand why she is able to connect so deeply, not just to children, but nearly anyone.
Compassionate but not soft. Funny but never cruel. Supportive in a magical way that guides without pushing. She is a fierce champion for the potential in all our children, regardless of how they are labelled or act out. She is someone you trust implicitly to deliver whatever she says, with or without the spoonful of sugar."
Tanya Dyer. Esq.
Alpha Woman Coach | Marriage Recovery Expert | Divorce Lawyer | Author | Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) for Children Custody Cases.
Compassionate but not soft. Funny but never cruel. Supportive in a magical way that guides without pushing. She is a fierce champion for the potential in all our children, regardless of how they are labelled or act out. She is someone you trust implicitly to deliver whatever she says, with or without the spoonful of sugar."
Tanya Dyer. Esq.
Alpha Woman Coach | Marriage Recovery Expert | Divorce Lawyer | Author | Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) for Children Custody Cases.
“Cathy Domoney is one of my favorite people in the world. She’s honest and kind, intelligent and genius at what she does, and she’s going to change the world. She’s my friend, my icon, and my genius client. She has her mission to change the way that children are viewed, educated, and seen. She is such a shining light and has only just begun to scratch the surface of her potential, and I cannot wait to see what she does next.
She will be forever known as our quiet storm!”
Kathryn Porritt.
CEO Business Bravery | CEO 100k Offer
CEO Luxury Influencers.
"Cathy Domoney is the sweetest, kindest, most generous-in-spirit person I know. (Except for my wife!) She is masterful when it comes to child empowerment. I could think of no better person to deal with my, at times, difficult children than Cathy. (Except for my wife!)
Cathy's doing such wonderful and worthwhile work."
Bill Bennett.
Award-Winning Author | Award-Winning Film Director.
"Cathy is incredibly gifted as an intuitive guide for anyone who values deep seeing and subtly sophisticated support in aligning with their true essence. She sees deeply, cares deeply, feels deeply, and serves with tremendous integrity and presence. Her passion and commitment to young people is palpable, and there is no question she is doing the work she's meant to do right now in the world, in a time when children need her gifted support more than ever."
Anne Rose Hart, M.A.
Creator of QUANTUM PLAYTM.
"Cathy is incredibly gifted as an intuitive guide for anyone who values deep seeing and subtly sophisticated support in aligning with their true essence. She sees deeply, cares deeply, feels deeply, and serves with tremendous integrity and presence. Her passion and commitment to young people is palpable, and there is no question she is doing the work she's meant to do right now in the world, in a time when children need her gifted support more than ever."
Anne Rose Hart, M.A.
Creator of QUANTUM PLAYTM.
“Cathy, you have incredible influence, what you are accomplishing has been a great gift to all parents. You are a great role-model for all parents about what needs to happen to move forward.”
Dr. Lori Leyden. Ph.D. MBA.
Developer of The Grace Process™ and Founder of the non-profit, Create Global Healing.
Dr. Lori Leyden. Ph.D. MBA.
Developer of The Grace Process™ and Founder of the non-profit, Create Global Healing.
"Cathy is one of those people who embodies peace, generosity, and kindness - and combines that with a keen intelligence, which is a rare combination."
Naomi Janzen.
Screenwriter | Author | EFT Tapping Master |
Freedom Oz Techniques
Naomi Janzen.
Screenwriter | Author | EFT Tapping Master |
Freedom Oz Techniques
“Cathy, when I met you over in L. A. with this group of extraordinary leaders, I gravitated to you right away because you bring such energy, and joy, and wisdom into the room. I’ve been tracking the books that you’ve been writing for kids, and the work that you’ve been doing. So this is just a huge honor and pleasure to be in conversation with you.”
Dr. Scott Mills. Ph.D.
CEO Human Evolutionaries.
Dr. Scott Mills. Ph.D.
CEO Human Evolutionaries.
"Cathy is pure unconditional love that happens to be human shaped. When in her presence, you feel truly seen, heard, and supported in a safe and supportive environment that allows you to show up exactly where you are today without any judgment. She wraps you in kindness that both inspires you and gives you the guidance to be the kind of parent and human you want to be."
Lindsay Mustain.
Job Search Coach | Personal Branding Guru |
| LinkedIn Celebrity | Amazon's formerly most visible employee.
"Cathy is caring, compassionate, kind, thoughtful, insightful, funny, witty, and smart. She’s someone that you want as a friend because you know that she’s got your back."
Sandy Forster.
Award-Winning Author | Wildly Wealthy Women.
“Hey Cathy, I want to thank you for your beautiful books, my children now have these amazing, authentic conversations with each other. Thank you for bringing such needed education to my children.”
Jess Clair.
The Social Media School | Humanity-Led Business.
Jess Clair.
The Social Media School | Humanity-Led Business.
Don't Just Take Our Word For It...
See What Others Have Said About Their Experience!
A Note From Cathy.
"The work that I do with families is of an intensely intimate and highly confidential nature. I am a trusted confidante, adviser and guide, consequently discretion and confidentiality is critical.
Therefore, the names and images in the following testimonials have been changed to protect the anonymity of my families, as I'm sure you will understand."
"Cathy has made such a difference to our lives! She has coached our teenage son and I have seen his thinking change from unmotivated, angry and lost; to motivated and happy, with a stronger sense of identity and high goals. We have seen psychologists in the past but Cathy has helped him change his way of thinking much faster than they ever did. I can’t rave enough about this extraordinary woman!"
Jessica ~ Australia.
"Cathy has taught me how to live."
Jack, aged 13 ~ Australia.
"Wow! Cathy, you are truly one in a million. The positive mindset, the helpful suggestions, Everything you teach and speak is pure bliss and has been the most fantastic guidance I have ever been given. You’ve helped us through some of life’s hardest challenges, and without your guidance and positively I don’t think we would have come out of those dark patches in our lives. I will recommend you highly to all my friends, family and colleagues.
Abbi has done exceptionally well and has learned some wonderful strategies for dealing with unpleasant situations in daily life. She dealt with and handled a bullying situation so well the other week. I had a chat with her about the girl who had been mean and her reply was ‘I learned how to deal with it with Cathy’ It's made her significantly stronger, and more confident. Her self-esteem and inner-belief in her abilities really have been boosted beyond any of our expectations.
Thank you, Cathy."
Josephine ~ Australia.
"I was lucky to find Cathy at a time in my child's life where his thoughts and feelings were suffocating him. He was in a very dark place and needed help to get out. I was lost and didn’t even know where to begin to untangle the mess in his mind. From the get-go, Cathy’s sessions made him see things differently. To be able to have a voice of reason outside of his head was something so extraordinarily powerful to behold. I can not explain the immediate positive impact she had on him, it was remarkable. Cathy is a true guide. She's professional and compassionate but most of all, She is patient. She patiently waited for him to get his head around the things that she wanted him to try. She really listened to him, she saw him for who he is and responded with so much love and wisdom. I truly believe she has been given a gift and will make a difference to any child that she comes across. I couldn’t recommend her any higher and, thanks to Cathy, my son can now see his immense value and his extraordinary place in the world. Thank you, Cathy."
Ophelia ~ U.K.
"I think you replaced our daughter with an alien! Completely different child. She is calmer and thinks about what she wants to say before she speaks. She is making better choices and has been sleeping a lot better. Jane says she has made new friends from the school that she never had spoken to in the schoolyard before because she has the confidence to approach people. She has had no signs of self-harming for two months. No antidepressants for a while now. Thank you, Cathy. I can’t tell you how much we appreciate what you did for Jane. Her grandma called tonight and made a comment about how she could hear a smile in her voice for the first time in years."
Constance ~ USA.
"Cathy’s natural ability to create positive & warm spaces full of acceptance & understanding is invaluable, helping the children to open up & take on board everything they are discussing & learning. Coupled with her innate ability to form genuine connections, our children emerged from each session upbeat & confident, full of inspiration & with a desire to understand the world around them & talk about their ideas & opinions. Our children are now, several weeks on, still using the inner positive mindset tools learned during the sessions in their daily lives. They do have a stronger sense of self & a firm belief that their thoughts & opinions on any matter big or small, personal or political, truly matter & can make a difference.
I highly recommend Cathy Domoney for every young person!"
Caroline ~ Australia.
"Our daughter worked exclusively with Cathy. We cannot thank Cathy enough for her gentleness, warmth, and guidance towards our usually very anxious daughter. She has come away from the coaching sessions with a pep in her step, and the knowledge of some very important life skills, ready to embrace the world, and work hard, and achieve great things! It has been amazing to see this new confident young lady, and we are excited to see what the future holds for our newly confident young lady. Thank you, Cathy."
Angelica ~ USA.
"Cathy has a beautiful method of drawing out the authenticity of who you are. She helps you to reignite the flames within that had died down, and build the confidence to move forward in wholeness.
Cathy’s coaching and mentoring took my child's journey to a whole new level of extraordinary."
Daphne ~ Australia.
"Wow! Cathy. What can I say? I am one, happy client. Your ability to teach, support, nurture, and support is just fabulous. I am honestly humbled (and gobsmacked at our results!). Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for knowing my children better than they knew themselves. You have taught them (and me) so much about self-worth and all with so much support, love, and compassion. I will be forever grateful. You are truly amazing and I am so grateful that I met you and that you are now in our lives, forever! Thank you!"
Catherine ~ U.K.
"I just wanted to express my gratitude for the time it’s taken to help us. Your words seemed to instantly buoy me up and make me believe in the power we have within us to help Alexander, and ourselves, to make the changes we want.
I also wanted to say how inspired I am by your own story, and the achievements you’ve made yourself and for your children in spite of the difficulties you faced. It makes me proud to be a woman and a mother to know there are women like you."
Caroline ~ U.K.
"The change in my daughter’s way of thinking after working with Cathy was remarkable, I now have a daughter who is happy to try new experiences and seems to have a new lease on life. Thank you again, Cathy, for allowing her to work with you, I would definitely recommend you. I never thought she would stop being so insecure and overthinking but she's so much better!
Thank you, Cathy."
Joan ~ USA.
"The best investment we have ever made for our son was to work with
Cathy Domoney."
Stewart ~ Australia.
“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being.
Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.” Albert Schweitzer.
Albert Schweitzer.
Feelings Chart.
For younger children, a feelings thermometer or chart can be an excellent way to keep track of how your children are travelling. Having it in a thermometer format can be an easy, quick-glance,’ way to ascertain if anyone is struggling.
How your children are feeling will impact on how they show up in the world. It will influence their willingness to ‘plug-in’, as well as their ability to absorb and process the information that you are sharing with them.
It is a wonderful experience making a feelings chart with your children. It offers a unique and powerful container to discuss the validity of feelings, the possible causes, and appropriate ways to express them.
What your feelings chart might include:
On top of the world! (Bright Sun smiling with sunglasses.)
I’m happy and content. (Sun smiling)
I’m OK. (Sun with white clouds either side.)
I’m worried. (White cloud with a gloomy face.)
I’m sad. (Grey cloud with sad face and rain.)
I’m cross! (Dark cloud with cross face and lightning bolt.)
I’m sleepy. (Crescent moon)
Feeling poorly. (Grey cloud with thermometer coming out of his mouth.)
Feeling confused. (Whirlwind with blank expression.)
This is an excellent way to boost the self-esteem and confidence of your children. This can be displayed by you modelling these great behaviors of appreciate all the wonderful things about each other.
It is an excellent resource to refer to when either your child is dealing with unkind behavior from others, a time when they are disconnected from their own brilliance, or indeed if they are making choices themselves that are not congruent to their values. During these times, it's great to remind them of who they really are, and connected them back to their core.
I used to tell personal stories (based in truth or not) of how when I was at school and a class mate was being mean to me, what a challenge it could be to find something positive to say. However, I explained that if you looked closely, you could always find something positive to say, no matter how small.
I would also explain that it was often the people who seemingly deserved our kindness the least would need it the most. We would talk about how it must feel to not feel like you belong and how isolating this would feel.
It is such a lovely process t create this together, there is no greater gift than catching a glimpse of how you are perceived through the loving eyes of others. You can get the whole family, extended family and friends involved! It is great to display this work on the wall for the whole world to see throughout the year. It should be sparkly, colorful and fun. It can also be added to throughout the year.
This is also a beautiful way to connect with your slightly older children. When your child goes to bed at night, and finds an envelope addressed to them it is a wonderful way for them to read the words from your heart to theirs.
This can be to thank the child who is consistently good (and therefore sometimes overlooked) and know that their consistent and reliable attitude has been noticed and appreciated. These are the well-behaved, on-task kids who can receive the least of the parent’s attention as he/she is dealing with the challenges of life, or of others. I have one of these so I can totally relate. This is a easy, quiet, and yet profound way to acknowledge that your see and appreciate them.
I learned this valuable lesson during my years of teaching. It is so easy to lose these kids through the cracks, make sure you celebrate and acknowledge their gentle, studious path through their journey. During my first year of teaching, I remember feeling that I knew very little about a lot and that was a year of exhausting consolidation where I felt like I was chasing my tail. My year group partner and I had streamed the ability of Literacy and Numeracy as the levels in the class were so vast. I took lower numeracy and higher Literacy. One evening I was marking the books when I came across “Gemma’s.” I sat back in my chair to the full realization and horror that I could not even remember her being in my class that day.
How appalling! I felt ashamed, I literally do not remember seeing her during that hour. Why? I was dealing with the kids who had more challenging behavioral tendencies in class. Gemma was quiet, studious, well-behaved, polite and an excellent student and on that day I had let her, and her parents down. That was like a bolt of lightning to my brain and from that second onward, I made sure that none of my pupils ever suffered from that benign neglect again.
This is a wonderful way to let them know that they are valued as it is easy to let your focus fall on ‘rescuing’ the kids at the lower end of the scale and forget the guys in the middle and the top. They deserve more than that. It is also a great way to celebrate the improvements of the challenging kids. If you are going to adopt these strategies, please mark it off on your roll-call/register to make sure that all students are celebrated. They deserve it.
Circle-Time.
The importance of these special times with your kids cannot be overestimated. Some parents and teachers that I have worked with over the years have been a little uncomfortable with this process at first, but it is so valuable. I have seen it practiced half-heartedly or not at all in some cases which is such a loss to all involved. I have always felt comfortable with opening-up with my children, and of ‘giving-of-self.’
The children will learn far more easily in an environment where they feel safe and valued by all. For example, I was covering maternity whilst heavily pregnant myself with my third child and in the process of emigrating from UK to Australia. I was covering a Year 6 class as a job-share and they were in the process of transitioning from Primary to High school.
Some information had been ‘leaked’ by the high school regarding the home class mixes for the next year. A lot of the kids were very upset as they had not been placed with their friends. I had not been involved in the list-construction but I was there to deal with the aftermath. My immediate instinct was to tackle this head-on with a circle time where we could all discuss concerns and coping strategies freely.
My Year-Group partner in the opposite class at the time strongly urged me not to do this. She was the new Deputy Principal of the school who I had worked with for about 12 months. I had to clarify with my colleague whether she was forbidding me to do this as my Deputy-Principal or whether she was suggesting that I didn’t as my peer.
She identified that she was not ‘pulling rank’ with me and I was free to choose but that she felt it was a mistake. I carried on and did the lesson. I sat on the floor with the children and began exploring their thoughts, feelings and fears and we talked safely, openly and honestly. I conveyed my concerns about the huge life-events that I was about to face in my own life and they advised me about how I might approach my hurdles and fears and we then used these strategies in regards to the High School situation.
It was a wonderful lesson full of mutual respect and concern for each other and we concluded that we would see this unexpected event as an opportunity. An opportunity to support each other, make new friends and rise to the challenge which would ultimately make us stronger. Needless to say, my class went home that day feeling happier, calmer and more prepared for what was to come.
Sure, they were still nervous, but they had a stronger belief that they could handle it. They also knew that school cared about how they felt and that their concerns were taken seriously, this was empowering in itself.
When doing this with my own children, it has proven invaluable. Practiced from a young age, and being genuine and authentic with your children creates a solid foundation upon which to build, which proves essential for honest communication as they grow not their teens.
The way that our children are feeling is vital to us as their parents. It can mean the difference between actually teaching them about life, or just standing in front of them as we are spouting out life-lessons because they’re not listening, their minds are on other things.
Sometimes they are too nervous to voice their concerns to you out loud and often the day is so busy that the opportunity is not there.
I introduced a ‘worry box’ in to our environment. A red, sparkly box that had its position firmly established in the corner and everyone knew where it was.
The children knew that it would be checked every day after dinner. Sometimes there were messages in there for me to read and respond to. The kids knew that this was a trust between them and me, and that nobody else was allowed to read them. We respected each-other’s privacy.
This made our lines of communication open, even when the topic of conversation was hard.
Mistakes: Essential to Growth.
Kids (and sometimes grown-up too) can be really hung up on mistakes. This has to stop! Many people allow mistakes to hold them hostage, they begin to be so scared of making them that they refuse to take risks and so their progress can be very slow indeed.
I know this because one of my own children has struggled with making mistakes and it can be a great source of anxiety for him. It prevents him from stepping outside of his comfort zone which is so important for growth. We have worked on this with him, in collaboration with his teachers, and he is much more relaxed about it now. Mistakes are to be celebrated-this is how we learn.
For the child putting their hand up in (or outside) of class, and having a go, I applaud you! That is a scary thing to do! Now, this is where I let you know a point that I feel very strongly on, the answers given. Sometimes the kids give the right answer, great! Sometimes they give a wrong answer, creating a wonderful opportunity for a teaching point. There are times, however, where no answer is given whatsoever.
Here is my philosophy on that. How brave and enthusiastic a learner must you be to put your hand up when you have no answer to give? How enthusiastic and desperate to participate must that amazing child be to put their necks on the line like that? Not me at that age! I was a coward! Unless I was absolutely convinced on what I am about to say to an audience, I said nothing. I played it safe at all costs.
Let me give you an example of one of the many times I was faced with this situation. There was one particular kid in my class, let’s call him ‘Ben.’ Ben was a complete sweetheart, just a lovely kid who did not find learning easy but who always tried his absolute best. He would always enthusiastically put his hand up and I would choose him. Nothing. So I would say, “Uh oh has it slipped out again?” He would smile and nod and I would continue, “Not to worry, if it pops back in let me know.”
Sometimes it popped back, sometimes not. This would the case a lot of the time with Ben and one day at the end of the lesson I spoke to the class and said, “Ben, do you know why I just love having you in my class? Because every lesson of every day you put your hand up and try. Do you know how amazing that is and how much of a brave super star you are for doing that?” Of course, Ben would beam and his classmate would congratulate him.
I had another experience with Ben where a teacher visited the school regularly to teach music. This particular teacher would insist that the kids stood absolutely still whilst listening to and playing the music. Pardon? Even I had difficulty hearing the beat and not moving to the rhythm!
Anyway, she was asking questions of the class and Ben put his hand up, she asked him and he was desperate to participate but alas had nothing to say. “Do not put your hand up unless you have something to say,” was the response that he got. His face went pale, he put his hand in his lap and did not attempt to participate again. My heart broke. No child should feel like that in class, ever. Our job is to make them feel that it is safe to try.
When a child gives me the right answer, it is celebrated. When a child gives me the wrong answer I thank them for giving me a teaching point and use it to further explore getting to the right answer. “Thank you Ben, you are helping me to teach this lesson.” I also used to make mistakes on the board.
Why? Because it’s important to model to the children that everyone makes mistakes and it’s okay. It also keeps the kids listening and on their toes because they want to understand the concept enough to ‘catch you out.’ I would pause and say, Hmm that doesn’t look right?” Then sit back and watch those kids interact. Beautiful.
For the child who is nervous to participate I would write example questions on the board for us to solve as a class and ask from specific pupils for the method and answer. For the nervous pupils, I would tell them right away, “Fred, I am going to ask you to help me with question number 5 okay?” That would give them the breathing space to think through what they were going to say without the shock of being asked. We are there to inspire and motivate, not to put kids on the spot and make them feel bad.
Hopefully, if you have created a safe environment ethos full of mutual care and respect, most pupils will be glad to participate.
Not all pupils will respond the same, how can they? They are all individuals and you may need to alter your approach where possible to account for that.
If I explained to a pupil multiple times how to do a calculation and they still were not getting it I would explain to them that the fault was mine. It was my job as a teacher to think of a way that they could learn, that was my job after all!
Celebrate mistakes, and use them as your child's stepping stones to success. To be a leader, you need to be in a position to take risks in order to grow, inspire, and light the way for others.
“A mother once asked Gandhi to get her son to stop eating sugar. Gandhi told the child to come back in two weeks. Two weeks later the mother brought the child before Gandhi. Gandhi said to the boy, ‘Stop eating sugar.’ Puzzled, the woman replied, ‘Thank you, but I must ask you why you didn’t tell him that two weeks ago.’ Gandhi replied, ‘Two weeks ago I was eating sugar.’” Source Unknown.
Lead by Example.
I very rarely shout, and always strive to always use the most positive language that I can with my children. Three of my five children are autistic and take everything I say to heart, and literally so it is really important that I communicate as effectively as I can.
The words that we use matters.
For example, instead of;
“Why are you being so naughty today?” Try using;
“Where is my fantastic guy today? Is there something wrong that I can help with because this is not usually like you?”
If you want your children to be patient, kind, hard-working and polite, then you need to model these behaviors. Don’t be afraid to apologize if you get something wrong, and don’t be afraid to get something wrong to model apologizing!
Give of yourself to your children. Obviously, you have to remain appropriate, but allow your children to get to know you.
It always surprised me the way that I see some adults interact with children. I have often said, would you talk to me like that? No? Then why do you think it’s ok to speak to the children like that?
Do your best to have radical empathy for your kids and their point of view. It’s easy to get caught-up in the day to day routines and deadlines, but without a healthy respect for each other's points-of-view, you will not get the results that you desire.
Fake it until you make it!
When I had my own children I altered my career and became a relief teacher and I absolutely loved it. I got to go to my regular schools and felt like part of the team and I loved the time with the kids.
I remember going in to teach one day for the Deputy-Principal’s class. This teacher was just lovely and so kind and loving towards her pupils, close to retirement she was wise, calm and wonderful at her job. She was all heart. She came to speak to me at the beginning of the day to tell me that three of the year 6 boys in her class had had a terrible week. She was exhausted, was glad of the time-out and wished me luck!
Now, for this beautiful lady to be saying such things it must have been a tough week! One of these lads had ADHD, one had Aspersers and the other had issues stemming from home. They were big lads, they were having a tough week and I was the relief teacher picking up the slack on a Friday when everyone was tired. Super. My heart sank. I had about ten minutes until the kids came in for the day so I had to think on my feet. How would I make this work so that we could all have a great day together?
I grabbed three pieces of A4 paper and folded each one in half. I then quickly separated each booklet in to very small sessions.
The sections had to be short and snappy because these guys had a hard time focusing for extended period so by breaking it up in to small chunks they felt that they could achieve a lot of positives quickly and that felt more manageable to them.
When they came in to class I asked the boys to come and see me. I explained that their teacher had had a word to me about them. Their shoulders and faces sank. I explained that their teacher had said that they had faced many challenges this week and that it had been tough for them and that she was so proud of them because despite all of this, they had all shown her that they had tried very hard to make good choices. They immediately brightened. I then told them how wonderful it would be if I could physically show her that they continued to make good choices, even in her absence. I then introduced them to the sticker charts. Every half an hour or so I touched base with these kids and gave them a sticker for that time-block.
We had the most wonderful day together and the boys really did make some excellent choices. Positive discipline and guidance provides children with a lens of possibilities of all the ways they can 'get things right' instead of focusing on all that they 'got wrong'.
I now parent my own five children using this principle, with great success.
Connection Vouchers.
A really beautiful way to connect with your child is to make (yes, make) them personalized vouchers from you, to them.
I do for my five, and the most surprising result of this was the excitement, and enthusiasm these decorated pieces of paper received from my older teens! I made four vouchers per child. Two 'dates' with their Dad, and two 'dates' with me.
We live very full lives, and so we are guilty of sometimes overlooking quality time with each of our children individually. These vouchers can be cashed-in by each child as they wish, and we arrange a lovely time out together, making memories.
This simple, and yet elegant way to thoughtfully connect to your children and will show them what's important to you, which is them.
- Cathy.
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